Okay, so last month Lynn, my publisher, asked me to write an author biography for their website (I also need a headshot, but that’s a whole ‘nother blog post of insecurity). And I have to say this…writing an author biography is both strange and mortifying. Also, I am trying really hard not to sound like a tool.
This is what I have so far (and this is copied straight from my Google Docs):
Kimberly G. Giarratano, a former Jersey girl, now lives in the woods of Northeastern Pennsylvania with her husband and children. A former teacher and YA librarian, Kimberly spends most of her time driving everywhere because she doesn’t live near anything. During those long car trips, Kimberly flips between NPR and the 90s alternative station as she daydreams about her characters.
…(something about liking) Radiohead, The Afghan Whigs and Tori Amos
(something about speaking) Spanish
She’s grateful to her husband for building her a writing space in the basement, even though she’s usually tapping furiously on her laptop in the upstairs bedroom. Her dream is to one day live in Key West where she can write in a small studio, just like Hemingway.
This is seriously a rough draft. I don’t know if my grammar is even correct here. All I know is that this shit is hard. I keep thinking, what do I want people to know about me? If someone from my high school reads this, will they think I’m lame? And then I think, am I really the type of person who gives a shit what someone from my high school thinks? *purses lips* Probably. Maybe I should put that in my author bio. (Also, anyone who knows me from high school probably thinks I am lame anyway) Ugh!
I read some of the bios from other RAP authors and some are genuinely funny. I then think, I should be funny. BAM! First rule of trying to be funny is don’t try.
I don’t know. The About Me page on my blog didn’t give me this much trouble. Then again, it’s just a random list of stuff about me.
Ahhh, screw it. Here is goes…
Kimberly G. Giarratano was born in New York, grew up in New Jersey, and now lives in Pennsylvania with her adorable husband and two small boys. A former ESL teacher and YA librarian, Kimberly loves Etsy, The Afghan Whigs, NPR and ’90s nostalgia. She also speaks Spanish, but is woefully out of practice.
Kimberly always dreamed of being a published author. Her other dream is to one day live in Key West where she can write in a small studio, just like Hemingway.
Alright, if anyone is reading this, what do you think? Do you like my author bio or do I sound — dare I ask — lame?